I Value You

My friends think I am better than I am. They believe in me and encourage me to grow. They grow. They have good hearts. They love.

I have great taste in friends. I choose them well. I do not, however, have the same confidence in my ability to choose a significant other. I'm afraid that I have valued things in guys in the past that will not make me happy, might even work against me and a healthy relationship, and that just don't matter.

I'll always want smarts, wit, a strong testimony, and attraction, but I have noticed a new, healthy must-have: I want someone who values people. Not only can this trait be indicative of someone who has a rooted testimony, I think it says that they are emotionally healthy and mature enough to accept others as good enough. And they can probably allow me to be good enough.

Making me laugh might bring down my wall, having a good job might help me feel secure, but connect with those around you and I just might be yours.  

July 28th (Take 2)

Well, it has been just over a year since I wrote last. It was July 28th. While I felt like I was in an okay place, I'm happy to say that this year's July 28th was a much different experience.

I woke up on the high of a Friday night out with my cousin Karlee and, later, a good conversation with a friend. And I woke up earlier than I do on most Saturdays because this was a Saturday I had been looking forward to for over a year: the baptism of dear friend. My friend lost his membership in the church a few years ago and was well aware of what had been missing in his life, well aware of what was being gifted to him that day through his baptism and confirmation. There was a small group of mostly family at the baptism and I was touched to be one of the few asked to share in those tender moments. The baptism lasted about 45 minutes and I cried 40 of it! I had not cried such happy tears, and for such a long time, in quite a while. The rest of the day could have brought just about anything and it still would have been considered a fabulous day.

A little bit later Devin and Angie (brother and sil) and their two littles showed up and I fed them a family favorite: grilled tuna fish sandwiches and tomato soup (that I traded for roasted red pepper and tomato soup). I was initially going to watch Clark and Henrie for a couple of hours, but they all just hung out for a bit before continuing their trip south to Salina. We took a walk around the apartment complex; it was exciting for Clark who was able to ride his new bike, but poor Henrie was saddened by every toy Escalade he couldn't hop in, tractor he couldn't sit on, and motorcycle he couldn't ride. Angie and I managed to hit up a few stores in search of the perfect bathroom mirror for Clark and Henrie's bathroom. Shopping has its appeal, but I mostly enjoyed being able to chat with Angie. I don't know if there's ever a time I see her that I don't walk away thinking about how grateful I am she's in my life. My brother and the boys are pretty stellar too.

Saturday evening I picked up two of my favorite Matts and went to see Moonrise Kingdom. One of them described it as "the perfect amount of cheese, awkwardness, and adorability." I just call it quirky. And I love quirky. The night was topped off with a trip to Cafe Rio and an hour + long game of pool accompanied by more funny, insightful, and intriguing conversations.

I am pretty happy with my life. I have finally graduated, like my non-Creative Writing job, have a solid group of friends, and am offered countless opportunities to grow.  I still worry about getting older without the family I expected to have by now, but I couldn't be more grateful for the experiences I have had while I am waiting for them to come.

July 28th

Eleven years ago today my grandma passed away. It has been on my mind all day. And it was her birthday on Tuesday. I miss her so. She and I had such a special bond. I showed up late to her viewing and it didn't seem like the crying started until I got there, an aunt whispering in my ear how much she loved me. I've referred to myself more than once as the ninth child, spending  memorable portions of my summers in Dry Fork with them. At the family reunion last summer all her kids and I were called to the picnic tables to identify some of her belongings; I was touched to be considered part of her children, especially to realize that I had a fair share of knowledge about the items to share. She loved to read, even though she was a slow reader. She was always crocheting, knitting, quilting... things she all taught me. I remember riding on a plane in elementary school, around seven years old, and crocheting, wondering why people were looking at me so funny. She wrote letters every morning, incessantly; I think I'm more inclined to sit down and hand write a letter or card than most people because of her example. I associate Grandma with her bottled pears, chocolate hidden all over the house, and freshly baked bread. Her home was always a place of safety and comfort for me.

Consuming my mind even more is the seven month anniversary of our divorce that also occurred today. While there have been some long moments, it has also passed quickly. I can't wait until I am in a place where I don't notice the monthly marks, maybe just the years. I hope I can reach a point where I don't measure time since he left, where my life has become about me again. I hope the 28th can become just another day. He proposed five years ago tomorrow.

Today wasn't just about the death of my grandma and my marriage, it was also a day of possibilities. Something about my writing class this week has breathed a life into me that only comes through words, mine or others'. While I still don't have a specific direction for life after graduation, I think the GRE (required to go to grad school) will be in my future, just in case.

Peace and Comfort

Last Sunday I needed peace and comfort. My prayers for these things were answered in many ways, the following videos just some of them.

I want to share with you that I know the Lord is aware of us. He loves us and is growing us into the people He knows we can be. All of this growing is painful, but He helps us more than we know. We have a merciful God.

I Bruise Too Easily

Literally. I have been moving the past couple of weeks and have acquired a disturbing number of bruises. My legs alone are up to at least sixteen of them. The biggest and best one? It's baseball sized and on my left... uh, cheek. And it was from a fabulous fall after being stuck in the mud for several minutes during The Dirty Dash last Saturday. It was basically a muddy 5k with random obstacles, such as the hogbales, slop 'n slide, and pig sty. I had a good time getting disgustingly dirty, navigating past the snow machine in the summer, falling more times than I care to admit, and seeing all of the costumed runners.

  

I have thought a lot about all of these marks on my body from the dreaded move... and then I remembered that the most notable, and unmentionable, one was from a new, exhilarating experience. As I'm looking to put my ever-changing life in perspective, I hope I can remember that there are so many good things happening - new friendships, going back to school, opportunities to grow through trials, and just fun times - that also leave their mark on me. And, in the end, those will be the things I notice and can't resist talking about, like my left cheek. 

All of this bruise talk has brought Art Garfunkel's song "All I Know" to mind many times...

I bruise you 

You bruise me 

We both bruise too easily

I am an emotional person and I do bruise easily. My poor heart has taken a beating this past year. I read about a women recently who left her career as a physician because she felt she had to limit her caring for her patients to meet the requirements of her job. She didn't want to be the kind of person who gives only so much. That's not who she is. It's not who I am. With Zach, with my recent heartbreak, with friends, I cannot be the kind of person who only gives so much. I give of myself completely and I love whole-heartedly. I acquire many bruises this way, but I can't live any differently. It is not in me. I hold on to the hope that someday I will be in a relationship where there is no such thing as caring too much, where I can love freely. 

I bruise too easily and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Growing Place

I took comfort in the familiarity of going to work everyday and continuing my same plans to finish school when my life was upside down during and after my divorce. Apparently I no longer need that comfort and familiarity, as many more aspects of my life are beginning to change. And, believe it or not, I’m excited about it!

Last week I was hit hard with the realization that I could not finish my degree while working at my current job. Most of my remaining classes are only offered during the day and my work schedule could not accommodate that. I felt like I was wandering around aimlessly for a day or two, but then I began to feel peaceful and excited. I need this push or else I would stay in this stable job with steady pay forever. Finishing my degree, which has weighed on me heavily for years now, will push me to my dreams of writing or working in the publishing industry.

My current plan is simply this: I will leave my job by August and go to school full-time in the fall semester. I will mostly likely stay in Orem and go to UVU, but there is a small possibility that I will go back up to Logan and finish up at my beloved USU. I would like to work part-time and I met someone just a few days ago who asked me to meet with him about working with him part-time while in school. I’ve even started looking for writing-related internships which would mean leaving my job earlier. So much change! And so much peace.

I am grateful for the opportunity to finally finish school. If nothing else, I did not go through all of those years of killing myself with both work and school to stop short. I desire, almost more than anything at this moment, to finish what I started and obtain that little piece of paper that might convince the world, as well as myself,  that I know a thing or two. 

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in 

which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing 

which you think you cannot do. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

I Believe in Love (And Quotes, Apparently)

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.  ~Zora Neale Hurston

Love withers under constraints: its very essence is liberty: it is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy, nor fear: it is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited where its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve.  ~Percy Bysshe Shelley
  
Desire creates havoc when it is the only thing between two people, or when it is what's missing.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
  
Loving is never a waste of time.  ~Astrid Alauda

Love is like a friendship caught on fire.  In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.  As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.  ~Bruce Lee

Life only starts when love comes.  ~From the movie Bill of Divorcement, 1932

The eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.  ~Margaret Atwood

You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget.  ~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.  ~Victor Hugo

Love is when you can be your true self with someone, and you only want to be your true self because of them.  ~Terri Guillemets

Once a man has won a woman's love, the love is his forever.  He can only lose the woman.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
 
          

Beautiful

I believe in the sun even when it isn't shining. 

I believe in love even when I am alone. 

I believe in God even when He is silent.

Written by a Jew on the walls of a hideout during the holocaust.

Eat Pray Love

“I will … ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, 

that … you cannot feel them,

… that ye may know … that I, the Lord God, 

do visit my people in their afflictions.

“And … the Lord did strengthen them 

that they could bear up their burdens with ease, 

and they did submit cheerfully and

with patience to all the will of the Lord.” 

 Mosiah 24:12, 14–15

^{I would first like to share with you how lifted up I have been throughout the difficulties in my marriage and this divorce. And I don't know what I did to deserve it or understand how the Lord loves us so completely. Yet, he has let me grow. I pray that He continues to let me grow in this gospel and to heal along the way. I am in a place where I'm ready to heal and move on to the beautiful things this life has to offer.}

^*****

Last weekend I watched Hope Floats with Angie (one of my two favorite sisters-in-law). I have always loved it and I can't pinpoint why, other than relating to the daughter's struggles with her parents' divorce. Something about that night put me in a fragile state and, whoa, did this movie hit me hard. I was in a constant state of tearfulness. But you know, it felt good. I'm ready to feel the sadness. And luckily, Angie is a true friend who feels the spirit and we had one of those late night talks that I couldn't be more grateful for. She reminded me that the Savior and his Atonement are the key to my healing process. I know that He is there for me in this capacity, but sometimes it is so difficult to believe that he can do, and does, all of this just for me. I still doesn't seem real that I can be this blessed.

I found this whole week to be a tearful one, though not an overly sad one. I also had a great, tearful (imagine that) conversation with a dear aunt. She has always been an example to me of the how to live the gospel. In fact, I have often referred to her in visiting teaching messages of how we need to teach kids the gospel. I am convinced that her 10 & 8-yr-old daughters (?) know more about the gospel than I do.

She shared with me that she put my name in the temple this last weekend. While that is always a thoughtful thing to do, I was especially touched because the buzz among my family is how well I seem to be doing. And I am! Really. But that doesn't mean that I don't still face difficult things and need all the help I can get. I am so grateful to her for being in tune with the Spirit and including me when it looks like I may not need it.

And I love her for crying with me. How true of a friend is that...

I ended this week by watching Eat Pray Love and oh my goodness! You'll never believe what I did during that movie... There were so many things that resonated with my soul. I couldn't keep enough tissues around. While the chick flick thing is kinda silly, I actually feel like it helped bring some things to the surface that I needed to be reminded of or look at from a slightly different angle. Yay for good tears!

I do feel that it is important that we share our struggles. There is healing in doing so, as well as a great bond that develops when we allow others in. However, please don't think that I cried all week. I had plenty of time to go to Zumba, go salsa dancing, and hang out with two of my favorite little people. I'm in a growing place.

*****

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..." -- Hope Floats

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation." -- Eat Pray Love

"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."-- Eat Pray Love

"I remember an old catholic joke about a man who spent his whole life going to a church every day and prayed to the statue of a great saint begging "please, please, please, let me win the lottery." Finally the exasperated statue comes to life and looks down at the begging man and says "my son, please, please, please, buy a ticket." So now I get the joke, and I bought three tickets." -- Eat Pray Love

Nourish

As I mentioned in a previous post, last year I outlined monthly goals for myself as inspired by Gretchin Rubin.  I've pieced together this year's goals and I've decided to focus on nourishing myself this month. I want to take extra good care of myself so I can heal and grow. This might mean going to the gym for a good workout, hanging out with a friend, taking a long nap or watching 500 Days of Summer by myself for the nth time. I've also taken the time to make myself some decent meals, in between my spurts of toast and cereal. But allowing myself to grow isn't always pleasant, which is why I'm also taking a dreadful math class to keep pushing me toward a degree. And sometimes you have to allow yourself to sit there a bit and feel the sadness. Running from it can be tempting.

I feel like having goals is especially important this year, as I'm living life as a single person now. This change in marital status often brings about a change or renewal in goals and priorities. It has definitely renewed my desire to be a better person and live life more fully.

Because Sometimes Life Breaks Your Heart

There aren't good or funny introductions for this kind of thing, but Zach and I are divorced. And I don't know what to say about it, other than the fact that I've grown a lot through the experience.

I can, however, share some of the things I've learned:

I'm stronger than I think.
I have a lot of supportive people around me.
We have a loving god.
I can have fun by myself.
I can enjoy my life on my own... and still look forward to enjoying it with someone else.

I'm in a place of peace. The heartache has mostly passed.

A Man Does A Happy Dance in His Underwear

We have a Christmas tradition. And I dare you to try and top it.

(picture pridefully provided by Dad)

Almost 20 years ago my dad, the ultimate gadget guy, created what we have come to call the snoop stopper. He works at an electrical supply company, so he always has the newest products available to him. As my two little brothers started getting older, he wanted to make sure that Santa's gifts were safe from their peeping eyes before morning. He built a little box with a motion sensor that he would face down the stairs to make sure us kids did not come upstairs to the tree and Santa's goodies. He even let us try it out to show us that there was no way we could get past it without the siren going off.

We often reminisce about the shenanigans. In the earlier years Tyler, my youngest brother, put tape over the motion sensors. This allowed us to still move past the snoop stopper without setting it off if we moved painfully slow. All 5 of us kids must have been there that year. We almost made it down the stairs, but somebody moved a little fast and set it off. And Dad loves it when he "wins."

Devin, my brother just younger than me, once set up a ladder outside the bathroom window upstairs. He was going to climb out the window and come in through the side door to unplug the snoop stopper. He found a note in the place of the ladder advising that a ladder wasn't a good idea... probably because Dad had taken it.

There are two stories we always laugh about, both signify the fun power struggle in this tradition and the ingenuity employed on both sides. Dad had the snoop stopper facing up the stairs (my youngest sister was a teenager and I was in college, mind you) and Devin jumped the banister and landed just behind the snoop stopper. Instead of following through with the plan, whatever that was, he ran back upstairs to us in excitement and hit a trip wire that was attached to a mouse trap... that was attached to an alarm. Ridiculous! Dad came running out in his underwear declaring his victory, but we resisted his celebratory scene because we most definitely won by getting  past the actual device. Devin stayed upstairs with his head in his hands, rocking back and forth, "I almost had it. I almost had it..." This victory is still debated.

Perhaps the most memorable year was when I told my siblings, there were two sisters and one brother, that I would take care of beating the snoop stopper. We would still gather in a group and pretend to be scheming when Dad was around and it drove him crazy! The constant trash talk was fabulous. That was the year that Dad's snoop stopper reached perfection, but we had no way of knowing that until Christmas Eve, if he even chose to disclose his whole setup. Around 5 in the morning I received a call and my plan started to unfold. My youngest brother, Tyler, and his wife flew in from Georgia earlier that night (it was a surprise even to him until his wife handed him a plane ticket) and hid out at my house until this predetermined time. I told them where Dad's hidden key was and while they were looking for it in the garage the automatic paper towel dispenser went off and Tyler recalls almost wetting himself at the surprise. And Tyler told his wife that, knowing our father, he probably had a gun on them at that very moment. Ha! I think that is when my call came in because they could not find the key and, the details are a little fuzzy, I think I let them in the front door and set off the alarm. Dad started his celebrating and then came running out to claim his victory - yes, in his underwear. "Tyler?" Ah, that was fun moment. Seeing the whole family in such a reunion, so unexpectedly, was amazing. Pretty sure my eyes were not the only ones spilling with excitement. It turns out that Dad had motion sensors all over the house this year, inside and out. He recorded his voice on each one, telling him of the location being invaded at the central command station in his bedroom. So, when they were looking for the key in the garage, Dad just kept hearing his prerecorded voice "Garage. Garage." and was freaking out because there was no way those of us upstairs could've gotten to the garage without setting off a handful of other sensors. I think they passed some more sensors when they headed to the front door and Dad could not figure out what was going on. Ha! Of course, they then had to arm wrestle because that is what the men in my family do.

Because A Girl Can Dream...

Because mine is old.

Because I need to build things.

Because I may have already purchased it.

Because I like a stylish couch.

Because I like organized chaos.

Play

Inspired by Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, I took some time at the beginning of this year to write out a monthly goal to help me start taking steps to be the person I want to be and live the life I want to live. For example:

                              February: Love isn't love 'til you give it away.

                              March: Clean in the cracks. And schedule it!

                              June: Write. 

                              August: Cook.

                              November: Create.

I chose November to be a month to create things, hoping that I could get Christmas things out of the way, leaving December for...

Play.

December is an excellent month to play, between the get-togethers, concerts, plays and musicals. I often get stressed with so much on my plate, but I made a good attempt to get some of those things out of the way, such as gift buying. Now all I have to do is enjoy myself and soak up the season (for the most part).

I made a list of things I could do to feel the Christmas spirit and really enjoy myself this month. To be reasonable, my goal is to do at least 5 of these things:

Make a ginger bread house.

Go to a Christmas concert.

Read a Christmas book.

(any suggestions?)

Give.

Make a Christmas decoration.

Clean to Christmas music.

Go sledding or play in the snow.

What do you do to feel the holiday spirit and enjoy yourself this time of the year?

More Thankful.

I meant to follow-up my last post with another, more substantive gratitude list. Instead, I chose to drive on snowy roads, field worried calls, hold my newest nephew, play with my less new nephew, stand in line at Kohl's 3 in the morning where I did not by a thing, eat myself into a chick-flick-watching coma, and hang out with my family.  Thanksgiving has passed, but not the gratitude in my heart. So...

I am grateful for my family. They make me laugh, make me mad, give me hugs, let me grow, feed me, encourage me, pinch me, tease me, share a kitchen with me, teach me, worry about me, and love me. I am so grateful for them. I've been thinking more and more lately that I would choose them to be my best friends if I wasn't thrown in a family with them. What luck.

I am grateful for my friends. I have a good handful of friends that I can call to tell about my newest endeavor, latest heartache, or yet another story of how cute my nephews are. They love me and they think the best of me.

I am grateful for my job. Yes, really. My actual job isn't too bad, but it's the people I work with. They are awesome. I've learned a thing or two about real estate and how to handle difficult people and conversations. I see good people living even better lives and it makes me keep hope in people. They are such a good support to me.

I am grateful to serve in Primary. At church, the Primary takes care of (the little ones) and teaches kids from 18 months-11-year-olds during a 2-hr block of our 3-hr church. At first I was not overly excited. I mean, those little rascals can be scary sometimes. They often have wet hands, most often from being in their mouths, chatty mouths, except for when you want them to use them to sing, wiggly little bodies that do everything but sit still. And then they sit on your lap, sing at the top of their lungs, tell you a sweet little tidbit about Jesus, listen, participate, learn...

I am grateful for opportunities. This means going to school, getting together with new people to make freezer meals, being able to experience a live concert, to do new things and to grow my abilities and interests... 

And I'm grateful to move into the Christmas season, hoping I feel its spirit as strongly as the Thanksgiving spirit of thankfulness.

Thankful.

I have so many things to be grateful for and I'm terrible at expressing it. Some random things I'm thankful for are:

1. My fabulous bed! I believe it is a little too comfortable, as I never get out of it on time.

2. School. It is difficult to be grateful for the classes, teachers, deadlines, tests, and every other obligation we've spend most of our lives trying to get out of... until you don't have it anymore. Going back to school has been such a great blessing for me. I'm a much happier person when I'm constantly learning.

3. Vegetables.  Yes, I said vegetables. If you've spent any amount of time around me, you know that most of my meals are meatless. Don't get me wrong, I do love a good filet mignon every once in a while, I just don't have to have it every day. I just love my peas, corn-on-the-cob, broccoli, green beans, carrots, peas, squash, zucchini, peas...

4. My job. While I do not work at my dream job with my dream salary, the people I work with couldn't be any better. I'm very grateful for the examples and support they are to me.

5. Music. I don't immerse myself in music often enough, but I did this weekend and it is amazing how much cleaning you can do while singing your lungs out to some Kanye, Alison Krauss, Norah, whatever...

6. Cooking. I love to be in the kitchen for hours on end, without a deadline. Chopping, stirring, tasting. It is also therapeutic for me. And what greater reward for a hobby than fabulous food at the end?

7. Sewing. Let me preface my comments by saying I'm not the best at this. My sisters-in-law got into sewing after I did, but they have passed me up in recent years with their quilts, baby clothing, make-up bags, and purses. My list isn't as expansive, but I do have fabulous ideas. This weekend I finally made throw pillows for my bed, pictures to come, and a receiving blanket for my 1-week-old nephew that I get to meet in 2 short days. The best part is that they don't even look too handmade.

8. Shopping. I especially love places like Hobby Lobby where you can wonder for hours to gather ideas. This is one of the few places that you can also fill your cart as you go because the prices are decent. I love clothes shopping, too. When I let myself make the drive to the Park City outlets I usually set up camp in the Banana Republic.

9. Exercising. I am grateful that I have a gym membership now. They have fun classes, like Zumba, where you don't even realize that you're working out. I also like the hard core treadmill and lifting weights approach. It is usually an awful inner battle to get me there, but I love that clean feeling you have inside after a workout.

10. My little body. How can I talk about exercising and not express my gratitude for my body? First of all, I am grateful for how it is responding to the aforementioned exercising. Slowly, but surely. I am also grateful for how it takes care of me, even when I don't take care of it. And how it really steps up its game when I eat less chocolate (gasp!), take supplements, eat fruits and vegetables, and drink more water. It has been so good to me. In fact, most people don't think I look anywhere near my age of 29. Now that is a body to be grateful for.

Rock Star Riott

My oldest nephew, Riott, will be turning 3 later in the month. His mom asked me for a little idea help for his birthday party since his only request for his party is pink. Ha! Kinda funny to see his mom freak out over his insistence on the color while she also insists that all colors are gender neutral. Trying to make this both a boy and pink party, she has chosen a rock star themed party with colors like black, gray, and the highly-anticipated pink. As you can probably tell from the above picture, he rides the rock star train frequently. Well, she should know by now that I'm probably not the best person to ask for a little help from, so here's a lot of idea help for what is sure to be a memorable celebration.

Invitations

• Do a photo shoot of him as a rock star to include in your invitations (or e-vites).

 Activities

• You could have stations: a hair station to rock-ify hair (colored hair spray), a tattoo station, a photo shoot station to capture their inner rock god, sparkly make-up station, Guitar Hero station...
• Have the kids dress up as soon as they get there. Provide fun, flashy pieces in place of goody bags, like rock-star glasses, blow-up guitars, jewelry or anything else Oriental Trading can convince you that you need.
• Coordinate with parents ahead of time the kids' favorite songs on a playlist to blast throughout the party or to convince the kids to karaoke to. Or you can play Riott's songs of choice throughout. Ha! I can only imagine what that would sound like, though...

 Food

• Use cookie cutters to have star-shaped food... little pizzas, pb&j, rice crispy treats...
• Pop rocks. Rock their little worlds.
• Guitar cake. Here's some inspiration for your personal cake maker, Grammie...

 

CakeChannel.com

WildFlowersByLori.com

SweetRetreat.ca

WeddingWire.com

Special Touches

• Mom and Dad, as my SIL pointed out, can wear security shirts... or bodyguard shirts. Same goes for little brother since he isn't really little... okay, fine. He can wear a rock star in training shirt or something.
• Take a little inspiration for the Hollywood Walk of Fame by having stars lead up to the party location. You can even put the names of your little guests on the stars. Chalk may be the easiest way to do this.
• You can have a red (or pink!) carpet for them to walk and hire some paparazzi (parents, Carla...) to give them the full star treatment.
• Disco ball, guitar, or star pinata.

Live Life More Fully?

I've been thinking about what it means to live life more fully because, frankly, I feel like there's a lot I'm missing out on. I don't know too much about getting to that point, but I do know this:

I want to give more of these. 

I want to smile more.

(even if I have braces AND bands)

I want more adventure.
 

I want more music in my life.

(I was watching Glee last night and I can't tell you 
how happy I was experiencing the music.)

I want to learn to cook better.

(because it feeds my body and my soul)

Until I am clear in my wants, I will borrow these thoughts from William Arthur Ward:

I will do more than belong - I will participate.

I will do more than care - I will help.

I will do more than believe - I will practice.

I will do more than be fair - I will be kind.

I will do more than forgive - I will forget.

I will do more than dream - I will work.

I will do more than teach - I will inspire.

I will do more than earn - I will enrich.

I will do more than give - I will serve.

I will do more than live - I will grow.

I will do more than suffer - I will triumph.

Pretty Little Things

I love food. And I love pretty things. What better combination could there be than these amazing dessert tables? I hope to be able to create something as beautiful someday. I have given my youngest sister this dessert table bug and we hope to beautify our other sister's mission homecoming with a similar creation in February. Fingers crossed...

 

Birthday Girl

Sandra Downie

Save the Date for Cupcakes

Amy Atlas Events

Couture Parties

Watching the Leaves

"Even if something is left undone, everyone must take time 

to sit still and watch the leaves turn."

- Elizabeth Lawrence

 

I love this time of year. And I just can't pinpoint why...

       It could be the leaves that change to various shades of red, yellow, orange, and brown.

       It could be the the light the streams through the open blinds without heating up the apartment.
 
       It could be the start of the holiday season when I get to spend time with family.

       It could be the overwhelming feelings of gratitude that consume me.

       It could be the stillness.